The Letter F Is Dirty!

The dentist said, "I'm gonna' give your mouth a good flossing!"

OR

The dentist said, "I'm gonna give your mouth a good effing!"

"Could you fix that?" she said, pointing to the hole in her pants.

OR

"Could you eff that?" she said, pointing to the hole in her pants.

Carl forgot his neighbor's son at the Easter Egg hunt.

OR

Carl effed his neighbor's son at the Easter Egg hunt.

Paul fisted the hobo's useless rectum.

OR

Paul effed the hobo's useless rectum.

Please refrain from using the letter "f", unless you are married or have been baptized (full immersion, NOT sprinkled).

Sincerely,

The Major Briggs Trio